Really? Good luck to you - I think Irene's advice is really solid! I will look closer for the red flags of a needy friend. We remained friends, speaking and hanging out off and on for about 5 years. I worry about her because it's just not normal to NEED someone there all of the time. I used to be in a casual relationship with a guy. I don't want to hurt her feelings... Because I'm not a horrible person... And when she is angry she is vicious with her gossip about anyone who crosses her. For her I would answer though. I too should of ran at the beginning. So I told him today that I want him gone in 30 days. I loved this article and I appreciated the dilemmas posted by the other people. I selected three friends on the security and none of those friends received an email. Your friends may feel like you're not interested in being contacted if you rarely text, call, or e-mail them. I suppose all I'm trying to do by sharing this is to let other people know that you ar not alone! I used these articles to supplement my work in therapy and it help speed up the process. How to Add Friends & Send Friend Requests. She is funny and charming and beautiful--why I became friends with her in the first place! I even have these thoughts at work.. how unhealthy is that. I got busier [im a hockey mom !] Take me as I am kinda thing. I am a very tolerant person like yourself, and was taught to be kind to everyone. My best, It's like a girl crush on me and she is dominating me. I really needed to clean this weekend and get my life organized, but no! She started to go downward into a mental health spiral and there I was- coaching, helping, being her friend. You may want to speak to his Dad or another family member of his so this burden isn't yours alone. Last night we stayed up until 2 in the morning watching youtube videos, a favorite activity of hers and mine for while, until it just became HER favorite activity. so I imagine that the distrust pre-existed me. This thread is locked. The takeaway for me is that she showed me what I don't want in my next friendship. I care about her and her boyfriend. You may be putting yourself at legal jeopardy if he is bringing drugs into your home and I'm sure that the stress is compromising your ability to perform at work. ?....So..I guess...I have to figure out how to be a friend to people that don't need me? Antidepressant Drugs May Act in a Previously Unknown Way, How Narcissists See Daily Interactions With Their Partners, 16 Ways to Test How Much Your Partner Cares About You, How "Musterbation" May Be Diminishing Your Sexual Pleasure, Psychology Today © 2021 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Traumatic Brain Injuries Affect More than the Brain, How Social Isolation and Loneliness Impact Brain Function. esp. He asks me if I'm looking at his texts when he's asleep. When they try to connect from comments previously made on their page it does not highlight. Go to the library to get a book and read it in your room? I truly do feel for everyone here. No wonder you feel anxious and guilty. However, I am growing weary of the constant barrage of messages and invites for lunch, etc. People make me sick. I see her as a gossip as negative, selfishness and incredibly needy. The face I'm seeing now is mentally off. In the beginning I believed that I wasn't a good person or a good friend if I set boundaries. She told me even if she didn't have all her animals she couldn't find a safe, affordable place to live. She claims she loves me, thinks of me as a sister, that I'm her best friend and so on, but she just acts like a b-word most of the time. I talk to her about the situation, she apologies, but the cycle continues. My scenario is very similar, except, thank GOD she doesn't live down the street! We go to the same college and met there--became best friends and all that. He says she has become a monster and so possessive that he says I'm now a prisoner in my own home and I now cry because I can't make her leave me alone and stop stalking me. Like a wailing toddler, they can be so demanding that their friendship becomes fatiguing. She doesn't let me breathe. I feel for you. and dropped out of school. Her friend has just lost her dad, but my daughter is feeling overwhelmed by this friend's neediness. There are articles online about building self-esteem and healthy boundaries/setting healthy boundaries. And the hardest part for me is I have to face that I'm probably going to break 2 hearts just to move out and get my sanity back. They want someone to take care of them while trying to convince you it is you who can't manage without their help. And if any aspect of that ever changed, it would be really obvious that I was trying to avoid her. Recently, i got a call from her husbands number which I answered assuming something may seriously be wrong with her...but no.. it was her saying her phone battery was dead. One day he called and said he was desperate; that he was in this bad relationship, drugs were involved but he wasn't on them, etc. I did it but sent her a note saying I cannot not help her again as I cannot be responsible for her son- and pointed out that he was without food, his medication and reeked of "weed". She's sticking with it, so it must be helping her feel better. That's what saved me a few years ago. After reading this article and everyones feedback, I must say that I feel much better, and see that this is a common problem. For her it is never enough. Over the years, I felt sorry for her as my life went in a different way-marriage, kids, working/saving, being active in our community. I try to leave it on silent when I'm doing something else (which is often). *** We’ve been friends for so long, I can’t even remember why I started to hang out with you in the first place, weirdo. Before I left her, she would send me private messages on Facebook every single day, sometimes two or three times in the same day. It is a lesson learned for me,and now it's time to move on. Unfortunately, it turned out he really wanted me to be a wife-like companion and wanted to spend all his time every single night with me, guilt-tripping me if I did otherwise and trying to suck me into lengthy conversations whenever I walked past. Whether it's with a friend or a relative, many of us get involved with people whose needs can never be satiated. We can learn from the experience to prevent unfriending in future online — … That was yesterday and my account stil, My Facebook account has been locked. And it is SO hard to tell them to cool it. There are some friends who are so needy that the friendship begins to weigh you down like an emotional ball and chain. It took me 18 months to end this relationship. If I don't answer her right away on facebook and she knows I'm online, she sends "are we still friends" or "are you mad at me" or "I'm sorry for bugging you." Drop him like a load of dirt. She claims she can't help it because she has ADD problems. I will be very careful not to get in another relationship like this again. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. So I have a friend who came to Canada from the states. I can totally relate with having a friend who is much older than me almost like a great aunt , even though she is a young 72. But I still feel sorry for them. I know I like to be needed and I like to help! Go to a movie? I always attract PRATTS!!! 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